Loneliness and Isolation During Retirement

One of the things that often happens after we retire is that we lose the structure and social life that has kept us busy and involved during our working years.  Our life changes when we no longer have to go to work.  If it is raining, we no longer have to go out.  If someone in a club or organization irritates us, we stop going.  If we get the sniffles, we stay home.  We tell ourselves that there is no reason to make ourselves go out when we don't need to.  However, all too often, retirees can end up becoming more and more isolated as the years go by.  Eventually, the loneliness can actually ruin any chance you had to have a happy retirement.

As someone who lives in a retirement community, I see this happen all the time.  Some of the people on the street where I live rarely come out.  As the years have gone by, they have become more and more reclusive.  While isolation does not have to be inevitable, we all have to take actions to prevent isolation for ourselves and the other senior citizens in our family.  Below are some of the things you need to know about isolation in retirement.

Common Facts About Isolation in Senior Citizens

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 28% of Americans over the age of 65 lived alone in 2010.  The older you become, the more likely you are to live alone.

Loneliness affects your mental and physical health and can shorten your life.  It also contributes to dementia and depression.  These are all good reasons to make sure you do not let yourself become isolated.

Many retired adults do not have adult children who can take care of them.  Some never had children; others outlived their children; still others have children who are not capable of caring for them because of distance, estrangement or other problems. 

According to a study in Canada, about one-fifth of seniors do not participate in any outside activities, even as little as one time a month.

Isolated seniors are more likely to need long-term care.

Isolated people are more likely to engage in risky behaviors such as smoking, drinking too much, eating too much and living a sedentary lifestyle.

Isolation makes seniors more vulnerable to elder abuse, including verbal, physical or financial abuse by caregivers.

Finally, in those cases where a senior is being cared for by a family member or other caregiver, the caregiver risks becoming socially isolated, too.  This, in turn, may contribute to the elder abuse, mentioned above.

Loneliness Survey from the "Sixty and Me" Website

 

Another website, called Sixty and Me, did their own survey on loneliness during 2020, when most Americans were experiencing limitations on travel, socializing, and seeing friends or family. The results of their survey was particularly interesting because of the 2020 Covid-19 pandemic. They discovered that people were experiencing significantly more loneliness during the pandemic and, during this update to this article in December, 2020, many of these people continue to experience feelings of isolation. Below are some of the fact their readers reported:

https://sixtyandme.com/dealing-with-loneliness-after-50-2020-survey-results/

Some key statistics:

87% reported feeling lonely at least sometimes which is a 12% increase from 

our 2019 survey.

78% said COVID-19 (and social restrictions) amplified feelings of 

loneliness. 

 

48% said they've used video calls for the first 

time during the pandemic.

68% reported that exercise and getting outdoors is their number 1 way to 

tackle feelings of loneliness.

How to Reduce Isolation after Retirement

Because of the negative impact that isolation has on your life and health, it is important that people take steps to prevent it as soon as they retire.  Below are suggestions to help you have a full and enjoyable life after you stop working:

Make sure that convenient public transportation is available where you or your loved ones live.  Good transportation is necessary for retirees so they can participate in activities even after they can no longer drive.

Living in a senior community tends to reduce social isolation, especially since most of these communities offer a wide variety of activities and services.

An alternative to living in a senior community is becoming active in a senior center in your neighborhood.  Most mid-size towns and cities in the United States have at least one.  Senior centers provide low-cost hot meals, arrange trips, organize bridge groups and other clubs, and offer a wide variety of classes that stimulate the mind or provide age-appropriate exercise.

Volunteering can help people feel needed, connected and involved in the world around them, as well as reduce their loneliness.

One of the most effective ways to reduce isolation is to take a class.  Education and training stimulates the mind and has beneficial social aspects, as well.

Group physical activities have also been shown to reduce isolation.  Not only is physical exercise good for your mental health, but exercising in a group also has a social aspect.

Joining clubs with members who enjoy activities that interest you is another way to avoid isolation ... whether the club is for hikers, photographers, sailors, or bridge players.  You can often find clubs through your local community or senior center.  Websites like Meetup.com can also help you find groups of people who enjoy going to movies, eating out, reading books, or participating in a wide variety of activities.

For seniors who are fortunate enough to have relatives living nearby, it is important that they invite the seniors to participate in family activities as often as possible.  A friend of mine has a living 109 year old grandmother who lives in an assisted living facility not far from her home.  She and her daughters pick up her grandmother every Sunday and take her to church and lunch.  They also visit her regularly throughout the week.  This helps keep her from feeling lonely and isolated.

Technology can also help retirees stay connected with the outside world.  Whether it is getting a hearing aid, learning to Skype with distant relatives, or using special telephones for the hearing impaired, modern technology can be a useful part of a plan to reduce loneliness.  AARP has also found seniors benefit when they learn to use social media, like Facebook, to stay in touch with family and friends.

For your health and longevity, it is important that recent retirees immediately begin to take steps to prevent loneliness and isolation.  The quicker they get involved in new activities to keep them busy and engaged with other people after they stop working, the less likely they are to become reclusive as they age.

If you are retired or planning to retire soon, you need to remember that it is up to YOU to make sure that you are staying in touch with friends and family, participating in clubs, and joining groups that interest you.  This is the best way to avoid becoming isolated and lonely as you age.

Learn more about social isolation in seniors from these articles:

http://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/10-17-14-facts-about-senior-isolation/

http://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/help-seniors-avoid-social-isolation-8-14-2014/

http://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/9-2-14-reduce-senior-isolation/

http://www.lifelinesys.com/content/blog/healthcare-professionals/successful-aging-strategies/reducing-social-isolation-in-seniors

http://www.audiology.org/publications-resources/document-library/untreated-hearing-loss-linked-depression-social-isolation

If you are planning to retire soon or you have recently retired, use the tabs at the top of this page to find links to hundreds of additional articles to help you with your retirement planning.

You are reading from the blog:  http://www.baby-boomer-retirement.com

Photo credit:  www.morguefile.com

Dean Ornish Tips to Reverse Heart Disease

There has been a lot of controversy lately over whether or not it is healthy to eat a diet that is high in saturated fats, including butter and steak.  While some diet gurus, such as Dr. Atkins and Nina Teicholz, have insisted that people can lead a healthy life while eating a high fat, meat-based diet, renowned cardiologist Dr. Dean Ornish has touted his more austere diet regimen for decades and has been able to show impressive results.

Benefits of the Dean Ornish Diet and Lifestyle

In the June, 2014 AARP Bulletin, the "Your Health" column discussed the results of recent research that was reported in the journal Lancet Oncology which showed that men who were on the Dean Ornish regimen increased the length of the telemeres, the DNA on chromosomes that regulates how fast your cells are aging.  The longer your telemeres, the longer you are likely to live.  Until recently, scientists did not believe that anything could be done to make your telemeres longer.  This is the first research to prove that aging can be reversed on the cellular level and lives can be extended.

In other research, the Ornish program has also been shown to reverse type-2 diabetes, heart disease and some early stage cases of prostate cancer.

The most significant effect of the program has been the one it has had on heart disease.  The results are so dramatic that Medicare and some other health insurance plans will pay for patients to go through the Ornish 72-hour lifestyle intervention program.  Blue Cross/Blue Shield estimates that they save about $17,600 over a three year period on the medical care of every heart disease patient that has gone through the program.

Basics of the Dean Ornish Program

If you wish to try to change your own lifestyle so that it conforms more closely to what Dean Ornish recommends, here are the basics of the program:

Eat a plant based diet that is low in sugar
No more than 10% of your calories should be from fat
Exercise at least 30 minutes a day
Take the stairs when you can
Accept that some days it will be easier to stick with the program than others
Eat mindfully - Pay attention to what you are eating
Practice Yoga or Meditate - Even if it is just a few minutes a day
Build connections to your family and friends
Volunteer to help others - You will feel better about yourself

In other words: slow down, get a little exercise, reduce your stress through yoga or meditation, spend time with friends, help others, eat less meat and more fruits and vegetables.

Those are the keys to a longer, healthier life.

If you want to know more about the Dean Ornish program, you may also want to order his book from Amazon using this link:  Dr. Dean Ornish's Program for Reversing Heart Disease.

If you are interested in learning more about the keys to a happy retirement, use the tabs at the top of the page to find links to hundreds of additional articles about health, retirement planning, where to retire, and more.

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Social Security and Remarriage

Many senior citizens are discovering that they have to do a lot of serious research before they decide whether or not they can afford to get remarried during their senior years.  With a record number of "gray divorces" added to the natural loss of spouses as we age, a large number of senior citizens are considering whether or not they should remarry, not just for companionship, but also to improve their financial security.

Some couples are learning that remarriage late in life can actually have a negative effect on their financial situation, especially when dealing with the complexities of Social Security.  Others are pleased to learn that remarriage can enhance their financial picture.  Every case is different.  This article will just give you an overview of some things to consider.  However, if you are planning to remarry late in life, I strongly suggest you consult with an attorney to draw up your new wills, set up trusts for adult children, give a new spouse a life estate in the communal home, etc.  An attorney can help you avoid many of the pitfalls that can arise, especially if either partner has adult children who may be counting on an inheritance!

In addition, you have to look at how remarriage will affect your Social Security benefits.  In some cases, both partners will be just as well off, especially if they are both receiving benefits based on their own earnings.  There are situations, however, when one of the spouses will receive higher or lower benefits because of their remarriage.

Remarriage When Benefits Are Based on the Income of a Former Spouse

Here's a typical scenario:  A woman is divorced from her first spouse after more than ten years of marriage and is able to collect Social Security benefits based on the income of her former spouse, once she is age 62.  If she waits until her full retirement age of 66, these benefits will amount to about one-half of what her former spouse receives.  If he is getting $2200 a month, she will be eligible to receive approximately $1100 a month at her full retirement age.  If she decides to collect earlier, she could receive as little as $750.  In either case, that is not very much money to live on.

What if she decides to remarry a man who only receives $1800 a month in Social Security?  Once she is married to someone new, she is no longer able to collect benefits based on the income of her former spouse.  Instead, she would now be eligible to collect about one-half of what her new husband earns, assuming she has reached her full retirement age.  This would drop her down to $900 a month.  Of course, the two of them together would be collecting $2700 a month, which might result in a more comfortable retirement than if the two of them continued to live separately.

On the other hand, what if they decide to live together, rather than marry?  Then, their combined income would be $2900 a month ... which would result in an even more comfortable retirement.  In this case, the woman is better off continuing to collect based on the earnings of the husband she divorced, while living with another man.  This may cause discomfort because of religious beliefs.  In addition, it could make it more complicated for the two of them in a medical emergency or in sharing their other assets.  None-the-less, many seniors make the decision to skip marriage and just live with each other, because they cannot risk the loss of income.  It is a matter of survival.

To ease the religious issue, I have heard of some couples who have had a religious ceremony, but did not file documents with the state.  They are not legally married, but may feel more acceptable in the eyes of their church.  You would have to discuss this with your minister to see if this is possible in your faith.

There is another issue with Social Security.   When a couple is married, if the spouse who is receiving the higher Social Security benefits dies, the surviving spouse will often see their benefits increase significantly.  However, if the couple did not marry, the surviving spouse will not see any change in their benefits, which could be a significant problem for the surviving spouse. 

To make the issue even more complicated, if the new boyfriend is eligible for additional income from a government pension, for example, he would not be able to pass a portion of this pension on to his new girlfriend, even if they are living together, because they are not married.  In addition, if he is already collecting his pension, it is possible that he would not be able to pass it on to her anyway, even if they do get married, depending on the particular state or federal agency and whether or not the terms and assignment of benefits can be changed once the principle party has begun to collect.

As you can see, a lot depends on the age you are when you begin to collect Social Security, the amount your receive, the amount your new spouse receives and whether or not there are other financial considerations that could affect your income.  This is a highly complicated decision and it is important to discuss it with your financial adviser and/or attorney before making a final decision.

Remarriage and Spousal Benefits for a Widow

The situation is a little different for a widow.  If she remarries after the age of 60 (age 50, if she is also disabled) and later begins collecting widow's Social Security benefits based on the earnings of her first husband, she should be able to continue to receive those benefits, whether or not she has remarried.  The amount of her benefits can vary depending on whether she began to collect in her early 60's or waited until her full retirement age.  Let's assume that she is receiving $1800 in widow's benefits.  Then, if she remarries someone who is also receiving $1800 in Social Security benefits, their combined income will be a generous $3600 a month.  However, what if her widow's benefits are extremely low because her first husband died fairly young without a lot of earnings? For example, assume that she would receive less than $900 a month in the above scenario; then she would be better off foregoing the benefits based on her first husband's income and collecting one-half of her new husband's benefits (assuming she is at her full retirement age).  She does have that option.  However, she should make an appointment with the Social Security office before she remarries and make sure there have been no rule changes that would affect this decision.

If a widow remarries before she turns 50, she cannot collect benefits based on the earnings of her first husband, unless her second marriage is also terminated through death or divorce.

Should You Remarry if Your Social Security is Based on the Income of a Former Spouse?

As you can see, there are no simple answers regarding whether or not a couple is better off getting remarried or living together late in life.

As mentioned above, before considering such a marriage, it would be wise for a couple to meet with a financial planner to consider all their options.  They might also wish to talk to a lawyer about the best way to set up their assets.  There may be some assets that they want to keep as separate property to make it easier to pass their property on to their own children from their former marriages.

The information in this post is not intended to give you legal advice.  Instead, it is hoped that it will inspire couples who are considering remarriage to discuss all the legal and financial repercussions of the decision with lawyers and their financial advisers.  It is not a simple decision, and what is right for one couple may be completely wrong for another couple.  While some people are much better off financially after a remarriage, others will find that they have decreased their income.

Read More About Remarriage and Social Security

You will also want to read these pages from the official handbook of questions and answers about Social Security, widowhood and divorce from the Social Security Administration.  You can find links to the information here:

http://www.socialsecurity.gov/OP_Home/handbook/handbook.04/handbook-0406.html

http://www.socialsecurity.gov/retire2/divspouse.htm

If you are interested in learning more about important retirement issues, check out the tabs or drop down menu at the top of this page.  They can link you to hundreds of additional articles containing important retirement information.

You are reading from the blog:  http://www.baby-boomer-retirement.com

Photo credit:  Photo of wedding venue taken by author, Deborah-Diane.  All rights reserved.

AFib - A Dancing Heart

Have you ever checked your own pulse or been lying quietly in bed at night, only to notice that your heart suddenly seems to be firing rapidly or irregularly every once in a while?  According to a brochure I recently received from Saddleback Memorial Hospital in Southern Califoria, this is called Atrial Fibrillation (AFib) and it increases your risk of having a stroke or developing heart disease.

I experienced this for a short time when my thyroid medication was set at too high a dose.  I have also heard of people experiencing it on certain diet medications.  However, sometimes it seems to happen for no reason at all.  If this is happening to you, be sure to report it to your doctor.

Symptoms of AFib

In addition to noticing that your heart seems to have palpitations or a stutter every once in a while, you may also have other symptoms:

Dizziness
Low energy
Chest discomfort
Shortness of breath

Of course, whether you are experiencing palpitations or not, you should talk to your doctor if you are experiencing any of the above symptoms.

Treatments for AFib

Fortunately, doctors do have an arsenal of different treatments they can try in order to get your heart operating smoothly again.  Here are the ones that were mentioned in the brochure I received:

Medications that can soothe your heart and help it maintain its normal rhythm.

Electrical cardioversion which is a shock to your heart.  This is done to "reset" it.

Catheter Ablation is a minimally invasive surgical procedure that is done to destroy tissue or cells that could be causing the irregular rhythm.

Cryoablation is similar to other types of ablation, but it "freezes" the unwanted tissue.

Pacemakers are frequently implanted under the skin near the collar bone to keep the heart from beating too slowly.

What You Can Do to Keep Your Heart Healthy

We all want to do everything we can to keep our heart working properly.  While medical intervention should be sought whenever we suspect that something is wrong with our heart, we also need to do our part to maintain it.

Get exercise
Maintain a healthy weight
Do not smoke
Eat a diet low in trans fats and saturated fats
Manage your blood pressure and cholesterol

The most important thing you should get from this article, however, is that you should tell your doctor if you notice anything unusual about your heartbeat.  It's a condition that can easily be treated and getting it taken care of could prevent you from having a heart attack or stroke.

If you are interested in learning more about health and other issues that could affect your during retirement, use the tabs or pull down menu at the top of this page.  They contain links to hundreds of additional articles.

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What To Expect After You Retire

Recently, the checker at my local grocery store told me that she was old enough to retire now and that she had moved into a condo in the same retirement community where I live.  However, she confided that she was very nervous about giving up her job.  She said she didn't know what to expect.

This seems to be a common concern for many people who retire.  Although most of the people I know are happy that they gave up their jobs, I have also known several who returned to their old occupations or found a new one, within a year or two of retiring.

As a result, I thought it was time to write a post to let people know what they can expect after retirement.  The fewer surprises you have, the happier you are likely to be.

You Still Have to Pay Attention to Money After Retirement

Just because you have stopped working and stopped contributing to a retirement plan, it does not mean that you can stop thinking about your finances.  You will need to continue to pay attention to how you spend money and how your retirement funds are invested.  You also need to make sure that you have realistic expectations of your potential return on your investments and how much you can withdraw each year in order to make sure your money lasts the rest of your life.

Statistics show that widows, in particular, often (but not always) go through their assets faster than they should.  Everyone should consult with a financial adviser periodically to make sure they are still spending their money in a realistic manner and they remain on track for their assets to last the rest of their lives.

On the other hand, spending down your retirement savings can be emotionally and psychologically painful for some people.  After spending years, or possibly decades, putting together a nice nest egg, it can be hard to see it shrink as the years go by.  If you are on a reasonable disbursement plan, such as using 4% of your assets each year, you may still have to give yourself permission to spend your money down!

No matter how critical you were of the Social Security program prior to retirement, it is likely to be a significant source of income for you after you retire.   Approximately 86% of retirees will receive Social Security.  Social Security makes up about 90% of retirement income for roughly one-third of retirees.  It makes up at least 50% of the income of 65% of retires.   The average benefit at the end of 2014 was $1,282.

Another financial concern you will have is making sure you know how you will cover your medical expenses.  Basic Medicare does not cover routine eye exams, eyeglasses, contact lenses, dental care or hearing aids.  In addition, it only covers 100 days in a nursing home.  Retirees really need to investigate the best Medicare supplemental plans, Medicare Advantage plans and long-term insurance plans to make sure the money they have set aside to cover medical expenses will go as far as possible.  In addition, they may need to keep some liquid assets on hand to cover deductibles and co-pays each year.

Loneliness Is An Issue for Many Retirees

Retirement is not always the way it is depicted on television and in movies.  Many retirees will not spend their Golden Years surrounded by children and grandchildren, enjoying leisurely Sunday dinners with their extended family, as depicted on shows like "Blue Bloods."

About 44% of people over the age of 65 are living alone because they are widowed, divorced, separated or never married.   As they get older, the percentage of people living alone goes up.  As a result, the average senior over the age of 75 watches more than four hours of television a day.  Many seniors watch significantly more television than that or spend additional hours playing computer games or engaged in other solitary activities.

To counteract the loneliness, it is important that you find group activities you enjoy and get involved with them as soon as possible after you retire.  This could mean signing up for classes, joining clubs, attending church, scheduling regular lunch or dinner dates with friends, volunteering or getting a "fun" job.   You need to reach out to your friends and neighbors on a regular basis, especially if you live alone.

You Might Start Dating Again

Much to their surprise, single retirees often discover that they want to date.  It can be fun and exciting to be involved in a romantic relationship again, and it can do a lot to minimize any loneliness you may be experiencing.  Our community television station has even begun to broadcast our own local version of "The Dating Game."  One of the former writers for the original "Dating Game" lives in our community and, when he offered to organize a show for our community, his idea was enthusiastically embraced.  Over 250 people showed up the first time they held auditions to appear on the show ... and it is only open to the people who live in this community!

It is possible you will meet people you want to date through some of the classes or clubs you enjoy.  It has also become more common for seniors to meet someone through an online dating site, like SeniorMatch.com (see the ad in the sidebar) which is specifically designed for people over the age of 50.  On these sites, you should be honest about your age and use photos that show the "real" you.  You are more likely to end up in an healthy relationship.   

One warning:  Immediately drop any online relationships the minute the other person begins to mention that they need money ... no matter how worthy the cause.  Tens of thousands of elderly people have lost thousands of dollars to scammers who form relationships and then ask for money.  Other than that, just use your common sense ... go slow, meet in public places and take someone else with you until you feel comfortable. In addition, if you are computer savvy enough to engage in online dating, you should be computer savvy enough to do an online background check of any person you consider dating.

Many seniors have found a new chance at love when they open themselves up to dating again and it can be a lot of fun!

You Probably Will Not Move Very Far

While many seniors think they would like to move to a new, exotic location, the truth is that only 5.7% of Americans over the age of 65 moved between 2009 and 2013.  Most of those who did relocate, usually moved only a short distance.  Only about 1% of retirees moved to a new state.  Approximately 0.3% moved overseas.

Most senior citizens want to maintain their current support system ... continuing to belong to the same church and clubs, seeing the same doctors, shopping in the same stores, etc.  It is comforting to feel that you will not need to rebuild these relationships somewhere else.

Downsizing, finding a one-story home, moving into a retirement community or senior apartments can be a smart decision for many retirees.  As a result, it can be a good idea to start your search for a retirement home near the community where you currently live.  

Accept That Someday You Will Need Help

One of the most difficult realities that most people have to accept is that someday they will probably need help of some kind.  They may reach a point when they can no longer drive, grocery shop, cook, maintain their home, shovel snow, climb stairs or perform similar everyday activities.  They may even live long enough that they will need help performing basic personal tasks like dressing or bathing.

While paying for people to help you can be a financial concern, living long enough to reach this stage in your life can also cause depression and other emotional difficulties.  Many people postpone moving into an assisted living facility long past the time when it would have made their life much more comfortable.  It will make life easier for both you and your family when you accept that this is a natural stage of aging and it is OK to get help when you need it.

Despite Everything, Retirement Can Be FUN

Does it sound like retirement could be lonely and depressing?  The point of this post is that it does NOT have to be.  If you know what to expect and prepare yourself financially, emotionally and psychologically, you can have a lot of fun after you retire.

The key here is YOU.

It is up to you to make sure you have prepared financially, you have made appropriate adjustments to your lifestyle, you have chosen the right Medicare plan to meet your needs, and you have investigated ways to pay for long-term care when you need it.

In addition, you want to be sure that you have built up a network of doctors, friends, family members, and financial consultants whom you trust.

Join clubs, sign up for classes, build friendships, schedule social events and participate in activities that you enjoy.  Enjoy your free time.  Read a book, take a walk, eat leisurely meals, play with your grandkids. 

Take occasional trips, even if it is no more than a short commuter train ride to visit a relative for a few days.  The change of scenery will do you good.

When I look around at the people I know in my current retirement community, many of whom are well into their 90's, the ones who knew what to expect in retirement and took steps to make sure they were prepared, are still having a wonderful time, years after they stopped working.  It is up to you to make sure this is true for your retirement years, too!

If you are interested in getting more information to help you prepare for retirement, use the tabs or pull down menu at the top of this article.  Those index articles will connect you to hundreds of other articles about retirement.

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Photo credit:  Photo taken by author, Deborah-Dian; all rights reserved.