Most People Want to Age in Place
It is estimated that about 90% of senior citizens want to age in their own, private home. They value their privacy and independence, and do not want to live in a retirement community or nursing home where other people look after them. This is quite understandable and can be a safe choice, when handled correctly. Of course, it is very unlikely that most senior citizens will ever be kidnapped from their bedrooms in the middle of the night, like Nancy Guthrie, so most people feel perfectly safe continuing to live in their current homes, well into their 80s and 90s. However, there are risks to consider, and ways to minimize them.
What are the Risks of Aging in Place?
Even if you are never kidnapped, other things can happen to people who choose to remain alone in their homes as they age. Among my own circle of friends, I have known people who have fallen in the shower, rolled out of bed, or mysteriously slipped while walking through a room. I also have a friend who was unable to get herself out of a bathtub until her daughter came to her home, looking for her. I have had friends who were robbed while out in public, had their homes burglarized, or had their purses snatched from grocery carts while shopping. I also know both men and women who have become victims of scams. Regardless of your age, we all need to be safety conscious, whether we are out in the community or feeling safe at home.
Aging in place can be lonely, which increases your risk of developing dementia. In turn, this can make you even more likely to have safety problems, including cooking fires, leaving doors and windows unlocked, leaving your keys in your front door, leaving your garage door open, and similar problems ... all of which have happened to people I know.
Lonely seniors may also become less likely to remember doctor's appointments, to take their medications, to eat a balanced diet, and to generally take care of themselves. I experienced this myself after my husband died. I was not eating well and not taking care of myself for several months. While nothing terrible happened to me during this time, when I look back I realize I was more vulnerable to having a mishap.
What Lessons Can We Learn from the Nancy Guthrie Case?
While I hope that everything ends well for Nancy Guthrie and her family, there are lessons we can all learn, whether we are planning to age in our own home, or we have parents who insist on living on their own.
1. Aging in place means finding good social support systems, and taking advantage of them. Nancy Guthrie had a daughter who lived nearby, as well as friends and church members who looked out for her. This social support system meant that her disappearance was discovered much more quickly than it might have been. For many isolated seniors, days might have passed before anyone noticed that they had not seen been seen for a while. The lesson from this is that seniors need to have at least one person in their life who checks in on them regularly ... at least daily.
2. Aging in place means taking advantage of modern technology to stay safer. If Nancy Guthrie had a loud burglar alarm connected to her doors and windows, this kidnapping might never have happened. If someone had tried to break in, the police and others would have been notified immediately.
Cameras alone are not enough to prevent crimes from happening. However, if you do have security cameras, (available from Amazon) make sure you maintain the service. Even though I live in a very safe continuing care retirement community, I still have a security camera in my apartment which shows me who has entered the apartment when I am away. Housekeeping and maintenance people can enter whenever they need to, so it is reassuring to me to be able to see exactly who came inside my apartment when I was absent. Unfortunately, Nancy Guthrie had let her security camera subscription expire, so it has been more difficult for the police to find photos of the intruder.
You may also want to add motion activated security lights (Amazon) outside your home. Many potential burglars are discouraged if a bright light comes on when they approach the home. You can get ones which are solar powered, so they work even if the electricity goes out.
You may also want to wear an alert pendant, an Apple watch, (Amazon) or a similar device that would make it easy to notify 9-1-1 in the event you fall. Ideally, your device should contact 9-1-1 automatically if it senses you have fallen and you are not responding to its alarm. It should also have a button that will allow you to quickly contact an emergency number in an emergency. A device like this would also make it easier for you to be found if you become lost.
4. Aging in place means taking advantage of experts to take care of maintenance around your home. I have known several senior citizens who ended up in the hospital because they climbed up on a ladder to change a light bulb, hang their own Christmas lights, or perform similar tasks. Just because you could do these tasks successfully in your 40s and 50s does not mean you should still do them in your 70s and 80s.
5. Aging in place means accepting help in every area of your life. If you plan to age in your current home, you need to accept that you need support. You need to find people you can trust, whether they are professionals like lawyers and financial advisors, or they are family members such as your adult children or grandchildren, or they are housekeepers or nurse's aides. You need a team of people you can rely on for the help you need. These will be the people who can make sure you are getting to your medical appointments, listening to what the doctors tell you, driving you when it becomes unsafe for you to drive, organizing your medications, and providing assistance paying your bills or making financial decisions. Ideally, this should include part-time aides to help handle housekeeping, cooking, etc. Having a team you can rely on can help you avoid many potential problems, including avoiding loneliness. Aging in place does not mean you should spend too much time alone.
You also need to keep an updated, handy list of support people such as reliable landscapers, electricians, plumbers and other professionals who can help you stay safe in your home. If you live in an area that gets snow, make sure that your list includes someone who can shovel the snow off your sidewalk and driveway for you. This is an activity which is not safe for senior citizens.
What We Can All Learn from the Nancy Guthrie Disappearance
No matter how the Nancy Guthrie case ends, there are lessons in her disappearance for every senior citizen and their family. Aging in place does not mean cutting yourself off from help. Instead, if you are a senior, you have to actively search for and accept all the help you can get, and surround yourself with a protective bubble. If you are a family member of someone who is aging in their longtime residence, you need to offer all the services and help you can give your loved one. At the very least, make sure the seniors in your family have regular help, safety equipment, good security and quick access to all kinds of assistance whenever they need it. Call them often to check in. With this type of help, aging in place can be a safe choice.
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