Why You Need Extra Retirement Income

A huge divide is developing between the people who will retire on Social Security alone and those who will have extra retirement income ... from a pension, 401(k), IRA, or job.

When American workers are all averaged together, the typical worker is on track to replace only about 58% of their current income when they retire.  Unfortunately, things are getting worse, not better.  In just one year, from 2014 to 2015, the average income replacement estimate for the typical American worker dropped from 61% down to 58%.  This will not provide a lavish retirement, but it could be survivable ... if the average actually reflected the reality for most workers.  However, even these averages are misleading.

In reality, most people fall into one of two groups ... those who are going to rely on Social Security alone and those who will have Social Security plus at least one additional source of retirement income.  The first group will be barely able to feed and house themselves; the other group will be traveling or moving to luxurious retirement communities, enjoying golf and other amenities.

Here is how things actually break down:

Those who have a 401(k) and/or other retirement plan are on track to replace 72% of their current income.

Those who do not have a supplemental retirement income will, on average, only replace about 42% of their current income.

How Much Income Will You Need in Retirement?

According to most financial planners, you should have a goal of replacing about 75% to 80% of your current income when you retire.  This means that nearly everyone will need to have a supplemental source of income, beyond Social Security.  If you are currently in the category of people who are on track to only replace 42% of your income, because you expect to retire on Social Security alone, you may want to start re-thinking your approach to retirement. 

How Can You Supplement Your Retirement Income?

There are a variety of options for supplementing your retirement income.  Many people use a combination of several sources.  Here are some common ideas:

Contribute to a 401(k) through your current employer;
Make large contributions to an IRA or Roth IRA;
Continue working in your current occupation as long as possible;
Start an encore career in a field that interests you;
Get a part-time job;
Earn a pension through your current occupation (although this is becoming less common).


Since no one can be sure how long they will be able to work, either in their current career or in an encore career, before they have to stop working due to health issues or layoffs, the smartest decision is for everyone to contribute to a 401(k), IRA or a private retirement plan during their working years.  Even if you are on the brink of retirement, it is not too late for you to try to maximize payments into a retirement plan so you have some way to supplement your income in your later years.

How Are the Top Retirement Savers Doing It?

The most successful or "elite" retirees are those who have consistently saved 10% of their take-home pay towards their retirement.  About 20% of all workers fall into this group and they are likely to retire, on average, with an income of about 143% of their current retirement income!

These are the people who will be able to feel confident that they will not run out of money, even if they live for decades after they stop working.  In addition, they will be able to do most of the things they always wanted to do after they stop working ... live where they want, go on cruises, take fun trips, etc.

Which Type of Retiree Do You Want to Be?

Obviously, in order to save 10% of your current income, you need to be able to live on 90% of your earnings during your working years.  Some people believe that is impossible for them.  However, imagine what your life will be like if you have to live on only 42% of what you do now.   That will be far more painful.

Whether you are a young adult in your twenties, or a working Baby Boomer in your fifties, it is never too early, nor too late to start saving for retirement.  If you already have a retirement plan, you may want to talk to a retirement expert to find out whether or not you are on track to replace at least 75% of your current income ... and more, if possible.  You can also use a retirement savings calculator, like the one from Kiplinger's.  You can find a link to it under sources.

Remember:  It is up to you to determine whether or not your Golden Years really will be Golden!


Sources:

http://time.com/money/3752868/retirement-divide-elite/

http://www.kiplinger.com/tool/retirement/T047-S001-retirement-savings-calculator-how-much-money-do-i/

Looking for more retirement ideas?  Use the tabs or pull down menu at the top of this page to find links to hundreds of other articles on financial planning, affordable places to retire, health concerns, family issues, etc.

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Photo credit:  Photo of golf course taken by author, Deborah-Diane; all rights reserved.

How to Fix Your Retirement Savings Shortfall

Millions of Americans are not prepared to retire.  In fact, about one out of four Baby Boomers who are approaching retirement have saved absolutely nothing towards their retirement.  Millions more have saved less than $50,000 ... which will not last very long, unless they quickly make some drastic changes in their lifestyle.

However, for those Boomers who are still five or ten years away from retirement, it is not too late to take the necessary steps to have a comfortable retirement.  Below are some of the suggestions the experts make:

Start Saving the Maximum in Your 401(k) or IRA

If you are not maxing out your retirement accounts, you are not taking advantage of the tax savings these accounts can give you, nor are you using your last few working years to fully prepare for retirement.  Workers over the age of 50 are allowed to put $24,000 a year into a 401(k) and $6,500 a year into an IRA.  You may feel that putting $500 to $2500 a month into your retirement accounts is impossible, because your current lifestyle costs too much to support.  If this is the case, now is the time to dramatically and ruthlessly reduce your lifestyle.  If you can barely support your lifestyle while you are still working, it will become even more difficult for you to maintain your lifestyle after you stop working ... especially if you do not have much money saved.

There is no question that it will take hard work and discipline to start saving that much money.  However, you will appreciate the long-term benefits of having this much money saved when you are in your 80's and 90's.  Now is the time to make the necessary adjustments to your cost-of-living so that you start putting as much money as possible into your retirement accounts. 

Use the Equity in Your Home to Finance Your Retirement

If you own your home and have lived in it for a long time, you may have tens of thousands or even hundreds of thousands of dollars in home equity.  This money can be used to finance your retirement, if you are smart about how you use it.  Some people have found they do well if they sell their current home and use part of the equity to purchase a less expensive home, either in the same community or in a less expensive area.  Afterwards, they can invest the remaining equity in dividend paying stocks, an annuity, tax free bonds, or other investments that will provide them with a reliable source of retirement income.  The combination of lower expenses and increased income can help many people salvage their retirement.

Another way to use the equity in your home is by taking out a reverse mortgage.  However, there are a number of risks involved with this plan.  If people initiate a reverse mortgage when they are still in their 60's or early 70's, they may end up spending all the proceeds from the loan far too quickly ... leaving themselves destitute when they are in their 80's or 90's.  It is far wiser to wait to get a reverse mortgage until you are older and fairly confident that the proceeds will last you the rest of your life ... and the life of your spouse.  

Postpone Collecting Social Security Until Age 70

People who wait until age 70 to collect their Social Security benefits can significantly increase their monthly income compared to those to begin collecting between the ages of 62 and 67.  Your benefits increase by 8% for every year you wait after your full retirement age.   This means you will get 32% more than you would have at age 66, and 76% more than you would have at age 62.   By waiting, a retirement pension that might have been only $1500 a month at age 66 can be increased to almost $2000 a month at age 70.  That difference provides as much additional income as $100,000 in savings invested at 6% interest.

Continue Working After Retirement

There are significant advantages to working as long as you can in your 60's and, possibly, your 70's.  Even if you switch from working full-time to part-time, any money you earn equates to less money you will have to take out of your retirement savings.  This, in turn, will give you the time you need to continue to grow your nest egg.  By the time you are no longer able to work, your savings may have grown enough to provide you with a satisfactory lifestyle for the remainder of your life.

Many people also use these years to work part-time and enjoy encore careers that are fun ... as consultants, substitute teachers, writers, artists, photographers or employees of non-profits.  They keep busy, stimulate their brains, bring joy to their lives, increase their socialization and earn extra retirement income.  What better way to make your retirement savings last?

Bottom line:  It is never too late to do something about your retirement savings situation.  You just have to be willing to face reality and make the necessary changes.  You can do it!

Resources:

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/last-minute-ways-improve-retirement-131813087.html;_ylt=AwrBEiJXswhViF8AjtyTmYlQ

http://www.moneytalksnews.com/ask-stacy-why-do-you-keep-telling-people-to-wait-until-70-to-collect-social-security/

http://money.usnews.com/money/personal-finance/articles/2014/11/13/youre-at-retirement-age-but-havent-saved-enough-what-now

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/18/retirement-savings_n_3288274.html

Looking for more retirement information?   Use the tabs at the top of the page to find links to hundreds of other articles on this blog covering topics that include financial planning tips, where to retire, health concerns, and relationship issues.

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Photo credit: morguefile.com

Stress and Disease After Retirement

Many of us blithely assume that once we retire we will be free of stress.  However, life is not that simple.  Many of the same worries and problems that occupied our minds during our working years will continue to pose concerns for us after we retire.  We may have stress because of financial pressure, marital problems, worry over our adult children or grandchildren, divorce, loneliness, grief over the loss of a loved one, the responsibility of being a caregiver, or the difficulty of dealing with illness in our own lives or the lives of a spouse or family member.

Stress can cause us to eat or drink more than we should, as well as cause us to sleep and exercise less than we should.   It can also result in the release of adrenaline and cortisol into our blood, two hormones that can increase inflammation in our body and make us more sensitive to pain and vulnerable to diseases.

The Relationship Between Stress and Disease

Unfortunately, stress can cause a variety of health issues, according to an article titled, "Stress - Don't Let It Make Your Sick," in the November, 2014 issue of the AARP Bulletin.

Listed below are common health issues that can develop when we are experiencing chronic stress:

The common cold
Weight gain
Slow wound healing
Less effective vaccines
Sleep problems
Heart disease
Depression
Ulcers
Irritable bowel syndrome
Indigestion
Heartburn
Ulcerative colitis
Crohn's disease
Back, neck and shoulder pain

Stress Can Create an Endless Cycle

The problem with stress is that it can start the sufferer on the road to an endless downward spiral.  The stress can contribute to one of the diseases mentioned above; then the disease adds more stress to the person's life.  The worse their health becomes, the more stress they feel.

As a result, one way to improve our overall health is to reduce our stress as much as possible and then learn how to cope with our remaining stress before it wreaks havoc with our immune system.

How to Cope With Stress in Our Lives

Obviously, it is important that we all learn how to recognize the sources of chronic stress in our lives and take steps to reduce its impact on our health.  According to "The Best and Worst Ways to Cope with Stress" from health.com and "Stress Management" from helpguide.org, here are some tools we can all use:

Get outdoors regularly for fresh air and sunshine
Surround yourself indoors with plants 
Eat healthy
Cut back on caffeine and sugar
Avoid alcohol, tobacco and drugs
Identify your sources of stress and start a stress journal
Set up a budget and get your finances under control
Avoid putting unnecessary pressure on yourself
Learn to say "no"
Avoid people and situations that stress you out
Reduce your "to do" list
Manage your time better
Be more assertive about setting reasonable limits
Be flexible and willing to compromise
Learn to adapt
Ask for help, especially if you are a caregiver
Give up perfectionism
Look for the positive in your life; have a gratitude list
Learn to forgive
Learn to share your feelings; call a friend
Get regular exercise
Relax - take yoga or get a massage
Keep a regular sleep schedule and routine
Maintain your spiritual life - church and prayer
Take time for fun!


Get more information on how to deal with stress at:

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-management.htm

http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20765943,00.html

Looking for more useful health and retirement information?  Use the tabs at the top of the page to find links to hundreds of additional useful articles.

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Where NOT to Retire

While not all of us have the option to retire to our "dream" locations, there is no doubt that some areas are better suited to retirees than others.  As a result, rather than focusing on the "best" places to retire, some researchers have been studying the worst places to grow old ... the locations you will want to avoid, if at all possible.

There are various reasons why one state or community might be worse than others ... lack of services for the elderly, high crime rates, low life expectancy, limited or non-existent public transportation, etc.

Based on different criteria, below is information about some of the places where you might want to either avoid growing old or take steps to minimize the problems of aging of in these locations.

Five Worst States to Grow Old

According to an article on Yahoo Homes, below are the states where the elderly have an average life expectancy of less than 80 years of age, where violent crime is among the highest in the nation, and where the educational level of senior citizens is lower than the national average (and education often translates to higher income, better health and longer lives).

1.  Mississippi
2.  Louisiana
3.  West Virginia
4.  Arkansas
5.  Nevada

Of course, even within these states, a person with a high retirement income, who feels they live in a safe community with plenty of access to the services they need, would still be able to have a satisfying retirement.  However, retirees in those states may need to do more advance planning to make sure they have taken all the necessary precautions before they become old and more vulnerable.

Cities with the Highest Crime Rate

Regardless of other factors, most senior citizens are not going to want to live in the middle of cities that have a high crime rate.  Listed below are the twenty cities in America with the highest crime rates.  If you want to see the entire list of the top 100 cities, you can use the link at the bottom of this article:

1. Camden, NJ
2.  Chester, PA
3.  Detroit, MI
4.  Saginaw, MI
5.  Oakland, CA
6.  Bessemer, AL
7.  Flint, MI
8.  Atlantic City, NJ
9.  Wilmington, DE
10.  Memphis, TN
11.  Alexandria, LA
12.  Myrtle Beach, SC
13.  Harvey, IL
14.  St. Louis, MO
15.  Newburgh, NY
16.  Cleveland, OH
17.  Homestead, FL
18.  Baltimore, MD
19.  Little Rock, AR
20.  Rockford, IL

There were some surprises on this list.  For example, I was shocked to see the popular community of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina ranked at number 12 for crime.  In addition, I was surprised that Washington, DC did not make the top 20.  (Washington is actually number 30)

Of course, many of the above communities have safer suburbs within a short drive of the inner cities.  As a result, if you have relatives in those areas and you want to live near them, it becomes a little more important to make sure you check the crime rate in various neighborhoods before you get settled.  You may be able to find a retirement neighborhood or apartment complex that is safe, or move to a nearby suburb with a lower crime rate.  What you do not want to do is ignore the crime rate until you become frail and vulnerable.

When I was a Realtor, we often had people contact the police department and get the incident report for a specific neighborhood, if we had any question about the crime rate.  For example, while a general area in a city might have a high crime rate, a particular high rise condo complex or a nearby gated housing development might have a low incident report.  You will want to know both the general crime rate and the incident report before making a final decision, especially if you are moving into a unfamiliar or questionable area.

Make Sure Public Transportation is Available

Another concern for people who are planning their retirement should be public transportation.  In a study conducted by Dr. Angela Curl at the University of Missouri, many people are negatively impacted when they can no longer drive ... even if they have a spouse who still drives.  Dr. Curl discovered that when one partner stops driving, both spouses become much less likely to work or volunteer.  It also becomes more complicated for either person to socialize.

When one person becomes responsible for doing all the driving for the household, it is more difficult for either of them to maintain their outside interests and connections as they age.

While this problem may not be completely resolved with access to public transportation, it can help reduce the impact on the individual or couple.

As a result, you may not want to retire in an area that is so rural that retirees will be completely dependent on their own ability to drive ... since a time comes when nearly everyone will have to give up their driver's license. On the other hand, if you live in an urban area, you need to consider whether you will feel safe using the local public transportation as you age or whether there are viable alternatives ... such as occasionally using a taxi for medical visits or shopping. 


Proximity to Medical Facilities

We are fortunate in the United States that most communities have access to basic medical care.  However, as you age it becomes more likely that you will need specialists, particularly if you develop cancer, need kidney dialysis, or require open-heart surgery.  One factor you will want to consider is how far you might have to travel to receive specialized care, especially if you already know you have a chronic health condition.  While you may not want to live in an inner city, you might want to reconsider the idea of retiring to a remote mountain cabin or island.  When my husband and I were young, we always thought it would be fun to retire on Catalina Island, off the coast of Southern California.  Now that we are of retirement age, we understand that it might be more complicated than we realized ... our children would have to take a ferry to visit us and medical facilities on the island are limited.

Bottom line:  Once you decide the general area where you are going to retire, you need to give thought to the specific locations that will be the most practical as you age ... taking into consideration issues such as access to medical care, public transportation, the crime rate, etc.  That may or may not mean that the place where you currently live will be a good retirement location for you.  Just remember that if you think you will eventually need to move, it will be a lot easier to make that change in your 60's or early 70's than it will be in your 80's.


Find More Information at:

https://homes.yahoo.com/news/the-five-worst-states-to-grow-old-in-214333692.html

http://www.neighborhoodscout.com/neighborhoods/crime-rates/top100dangerous/

http://munews.missouri.edu/news-releases/2015/0224-unexpected-outcomes-for-elderly-couples-who-stop-driving/

You are reading from the blog:  http://www.baby-boomer-retirement.com

Photo credit: www.morguefile.com

Loneliness and Isolation During Retirement

One of the things that often happens after we retire is that we lose the structure and social life that has kept us busy and involved during our working years.  Our life changes when we no longer have to go to work.  If it is raining, we no longer have to go out.  If someone in a club or organization irritates us, we stop going.  If we get the sniffles, we stay home.  We tell ourselves that there is no reason to make ourselves go out when we don't need to.  However, all too often, retirees can end up becoming more and more isolated as the years go by.  Eventually, the loneliness can actually ruin any chance you had to have a happy retirement.

As someone who lives in a retirement community, I see this happen all the time.  Some of the people on the street where I live rarely come out.  As the years have gone by, they have become more and more reclusive.  While isolation does not have to be inevitable, we all have to take actions to prevent isolation for ourselves and the other senior citizens in our family.  Below are some of the things you need to know about isolation in retirement.

Common Facts About Isolation in Senior Citizens

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 28% of Americans over the age of 65 lived alone in 2010.  The older you become, the more likely you are to live alone.

Loneliness affects your mental and physical health and can shorten your life.  It also contributes to dementia and depression.  These are all good reasons to make sure you do not let yourself become isolated.

Many retired adults do not have adult children who can take care of them.  Some never had children; others outlived their children; still others have children who are not capable of caring for them because of distance, estrangement or other problems. 

According to a study in Canada, about one-fifth of seniors do not participate in any outside activities, even as little as one time a month.

Isolated seniors are more likely to need long-term care.

Isolated people are more likely to engage in risky behaviors such as smoking, drinking too much, eating too much and living a sedentary lifestyle.

Isolation makes seniors more vulnerable to elder abuse, including verbal, physical or financial abuse by caregivers.

Finally, in those cases where a senior is being cared for by a family member or other caregiver, the caregiver risks becoming socially isolated, too.  This, in turn, may contribute to the elder abuse, mentioned above.

Loneliness Survey from the "Sixty and Me" Website

 

Another website, called Sixty and Me, did their own survey on loneliness during 2020, when most Americans were experiencing limitations on travel, socializing, and seeing friends or family. The results of their survey was particularly interesting because of the 2020 Covid-19 pandemic. They discovered that people were experiencing significantly more loneliness during the pandemic and, during this update to this article in December, 2020, many of these people continue to experience feelings of isolation. Below are some of the fact their readers reported:

https://sixtyandme.com/dealing-with-loneliness-after-50-2020-survey-results/

Some key statistics:

87% reported feeling lonely at least sometimes which is a 12% increase from 

our 2019 survey.

78% said COVID-19 (and social restrictions) amplified feelings of 

loneliness. 

 

48% said they've used video calls for the first 

time during the pandemic.

68% reported that exercise and getting outdoors is their number 1 way to 

tackle feelings of loneliness.

How to Reduce Isolation after Retirement

Because of the negative impact that isolation has on your life and health, it is important that people take steps to prevent it as soon as they retire.  Below are suggestions to help you have a full and enjoyable life after you stop working:

Make sure that convenient public transportation is available where you or your loved ones live.  Good transportation is necessary for retirees so they can participate in activities even after they can no longer drive.

Living in a senior community tends to reduce social isolation, especially since most of these communities offer a wide variety of activities and services.

An alternative to living in a senior community is becoming active in a senior center in your neighborhood.  Most mid-size towns and cities in the United States have at least one.  Senior centers provide low-cost hot meals, arrange trips, organize bridge groups and other clubs, and offer a wide variety of classes that stimulate the mind or provide age-appropriate exercise.

Volunteering can help people feel needed, connected and involved in the world around them, as well as reduce their loneliness.

One of the most effective ways to reduce isolation is to take a class.  Education and training stimulates the mind and has beneficial social aspects, as well.

Group physical activities have also been shown to reduce isolation.  Not only is physical exercise good for your mental health, but exercising in a group also has a social aspect.

Joining clubs with members who enjoy activities that interest you is another way to avoid isolation ... whether the club is for hikers, photographers, sailors, or bridge players.  You can often find clubs through your local community or senior center.  Websites like Meetup.com can also help you find groups of people who enjoy going to movies, eating out, reading books, or participating in a wide variety of activities.

For seniors who are fortunate enough to have relatives living nearby, it is important that they invite the seniors to participate in family activities as often as possible.  A friend of mine has a living 109 year old grandmother who lives in an assisted living facility not far from her home.  She and her daughters pick up her grandmother every Sunday and take her to church and lunch.  They also visit her regularly throughout the week.  This helps keep her from feeling lonely and isolated.

Technology can also help retirees stay connected with the outside world.  Whether it is getting a hearing aid, learning to Skype with distant relatives, or using special telephones for the hearing impaired, modern technology can be a useful part of a plan to reduce loneliness.  AARP has also found seniors benefit when they learn to use social media, like Facebook, to stay in touch with family and friends.

For your health and longevity, it is important that recent retirees immediately begin to take steps to prevent loneliness and isolation.  The quicker they get involved in new activities to keep them busy and engaged with other people after they stop working, the less likely they are to become reclusive as they age.

If you are retired or planning to retire soon, you need to remember that it is up to YOU to make sure that you are staying in touch with friends and family, participating in clubs, and joining groups that interest you.  This is the best way to avoid becoming isolated and lonely as you age.

Learn more about social isolation in seniors from these articles:

http://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/10-17-14-facts-about-senior-isolation/

http://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/help-seniors-avoid-social-isolation-8-14-2014/

http://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/9-2-14-reduce-senior-isolation/

http://www.lifelinesys.com/content/blog/healthcare-professionals/successful-aging-strategies/reducing-social-isolation-in-seniors

http://www.audiology.org/publications-resources/document-library/untreated-hearing-loss-linked-depression-social-isolation

If you are planning to retire soon or you have recently retired, use the tabs at the top of this page to find links to hundreds of additional articles to help you with your retirement planning.

You are reading from the blog:  http://www.baby-boomer-retirement.com

Photo credit:  www.morguefile.com

Dean Ornish Tips to Reverse Heart Disease

There has been a lot of controversy lately over whether or not it is healthy to eat a diet that is high in saturated fats, including butter and steak.  While some diet gurus, such as Dr. Atkins and Nina Teicholz, have insisted that people can lead a healthy life while eating a high fat, meat-based diet, renowned cardiologist Dr. Dean Ornish has touted his more austere diet regimen for decades and has been able to show impressive results.

Benefits of the Dean Ornish Diet and Lifestyle

In the June, 2014 AARP Bulletin, the "Your Health" column discussed the results of recent research that was reported in the journal Lancet Oncology which showed that men who were on the Dean Ornish regimen increased the length of the telemeres, the DNA on chromosomes that regulates how fast your cells are aging.  The longer your telemeres, the longer you are likely to live.  Until recently, scientists did not believe that anything could be done to make your telemeres longer.  This is the first research to prove that aging can be reversed on the cellular level and lives can be extended.

In other research, the Ornish program has also been shown to reverse type-2 diabetes, heart disease and some early stage cases of prostate cancer.

The most significant effect of the program has been the one it has had on heart disease.  The results are so dramatic that Medicare and some other health insurance plans will pay for patients to go through the Ornish 72-hour lifestyle intervention program.  Blue Cross/Blue Shield estimates that they save about $17,600 over a three year period on the medical care of every heart disease patient that has gone through the program.

Basics of the Dean Ornish Program

If you wish to try to change your own lifestyle so that it conforms more closely to what Dean Ornish recommends, here are the basics of the program:

Eat a plant based diet that is low in sugar
No more than 10% of your calories should be from fat
Exercise at least 30 minutes a day
Take the stairs when you can
Accept that some days it will be easier to stick with the program than others
Eat mindfully - Pay attention to what you are eating
Practice Yoga or Meditate - Even if it is just a few minutes a day
Build connections to your family and friends
Volunteer to help others - You will feel better about yourself

In other words: slow down, get a little exercise, reduce your stress through yoga or meditation, spend time with friends, help others, eat less meat and more fruits and vegetables.

Those are the keys to a longer, healthier life.

If you want to know more about the Dean Ornish program, you may also want to order his book from Amazon using this link:  Dr. Dean Ornish's Program for Reversing Heart Disease.

If you are interested in learning more about the keys to a happy retirement, use the tabs at the top of the page to find links to hundreds of additional articles about health, retirement planning, where to retire, and more.

You are reading from the blog:  http://www.baby-boomer-retirement.com

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Social Security and Remarriage

Many senior citizens are discovering that they have to do a lot of serious research before they decide whether or not they can afford to get remarried during their senior years.  With a record number of "gray divorces" added to the natural loss of spouses as we age, a large number of senior citizens are considering whether or not they should remarry, not just for companionship, but also to improve their financial security.

Some couples are learning that remarriage late in life can actually have a negative effect on their financial situation, especially when dealing with the complexities of Social Security.  Others are pleased to learn that remarriage can enhance their financial picture.  Every case is different.  This article will just give you an overview of some things to consider.  However, if you are planning to remarry late in life, I strongly suggest you consult with an attorney to draw up your new wills, set up trusts for adult children, give a new spouse a life estate in the communal home, etc.  An attorney can help you avoid many of the pitfalls that can arise, especially if either partner has adult children who may be counting on an inheritance!

In addition, you have to look at how remarriage will affect your Social Security benefits.  In some cases, both partners will be just as well off, especially if they are both receiving benefits based on their own earnings.  There are situations, however, when one of the spouses will receive higher or lower benefits because of their remarriage.

Remarriage When Benefits Are Based on the Income of a Former Spouse

Here's a typical scenario:  A woman is divorced from her first spouse after more than ten years of marriage and is able to collect Social Security benefits based on the income of her former spouse, once she is age 62.  If she waits until her full retirement age of 66, these benefits will amount to about one-half of what her former spouse receives.  If he is getting $2200 a month, she will be eligible to receive approximately $1100 a month at her full retirement age.  If she decides to collect earlier, she could receive as little as $750.  In either case, that is not very much money to live on.

What if she decides to remarry a man who only receives $1800 a month in Social Security?  Once she is married to someone new, she is no longer able to collect benefits based on the income of her former spouse.  Instead, she would now be eligible to collect about one-half of what her new husband earns, assuming she has reached her full retirement age.  This would drop her down to $900 a month.  Of course, the two of them together would be collecting $2700 a month, which might result in a more comfortable retirement than if the two of them continued to live separately.

On the other hand, what if they decide to live together, rather than marry?  Then, their combined income would be $2900 a month ... which would result in an even more comfortable retirement.  In this case, the woman is better off continuing to collect based on the earnings of the husband she divorced, while living with another man.  This may cause discomfort because of religious beliefs.  In addition, it could make it more complicated for the two of them in a medical emergency or in sharing their other assets.  None-the-less, many seniors make the decision to skip marriage and just live with each other, because they cannot risk the loss of income.  It is a matter of survival.

To ease the religious issue, I have heard of some couples who have had a religious ceremony, but did not file documents with the state.  They are not legally married, but may feel more acceptable in the eyes of their church.  You would have to discuss this with your minister to see if this is possible in your faith.

There is another issue with Social Security.   When a couple is married, if the spouse who is receiving the higher Social Security benefits dies, the surviving spouse will often see their benefits increase significantly.  However, if the couple did not marry, the surviving spouse will not see any change in their benefits, which could be a significant problem for the surviving spouse. 

To make the issue even more complicated, if the new boyfriend is eligible for additional income from a government pension, for example, he would not be able to pass a portion of this pension on to his new girlfriend, even if they are living together, because they are not married.  In addition, if he is already collecting his pension, it is possible that he would not be able to pass it on to her anyway, even if they do get married, depending on the particular state or federal agency and whether or not the terms and assignment of benefits can be changed once the principle party has begun to collect.

As you can see, a lot depends on the age you are when you begin to collect Social Security, the amount your receive, the amount your new spouse receives and whether or not there are other financial considerations that could affect your income.  This is a highly complicated decision and it is important to discuss it with your financial adviser and/or attorney before making a final decision.

Remarriage and Spousal Benefits for a Widow

The situation is a little different for a widow.  If she remarries after the age of 60 (age 50, if she is also disabled) and later begins collecting widow's Social Security benefits based on the earnings of her first husband, she should be able to continue to receive those benefits, whether or not she has remarried.  The amount of her benefits can vary depending on whether she began to collect in her early 60's or waited until her full retirement age.  Let's assume that she is receiving $1800 in widow's benefits.  Then, if she remarries someone who is also receiving $1800 in Social Security benefits, their combined income will be a generous $3600 a month.  However, what if her widow's benefits are extremely low because her first husband died fairly young without a lot of earnings? For example, assume that she would receive less than $900 a month in the above scenario; then she would be better off foregoing the benefits based on her first husband's income and collecting one-half of her new husband's benefits (assuming she is at her full retirement age).  She does have that option.  However, she should make an appointment with the Social Security office before she remarries and make sure there have been no rule changes that would affect this decision.

If a widow remarries before she turns 50, she cannot collect benefits based on the earnings of her first husband, unless her second marriage is also terminated through death or divorce.

Should You Remarry if Your Social Security is Based on the Income of a Former Spouse?

As you can see, there are no simple answers regarding whether or not a couple is better off getting remarried or living together late in life.

As mentioned above, before considering such a marriage, it would be wise for a couple to meet with a financial planner to consider all their options.  They might also wish to talk to a lawyer about the best way to set up their assets.  There may be some assets that they want to keep as separate property to make it easier to pass their property on to their own children from their former marriages.

The information in this post is not intended to give you legal advice.  Instead, it is hoped that it will inspire couples who are considering remarriage to discuss all the legal and financial repercussions of the decision with lawyers and their financial advisers.  It is not a simple decision, and what is right for one couple may be completely wrong for another couple.  While some people are much better off financially after a remarriage, others will find that they have decreased their income.

Read More About Remarriage and Social Security

You will also want to read these pages from the official handbook of questions and answers about Social Security, widowhood and divorce from the Social Security Administration.  You can find links to the information here:

http://www.socialsecurity.gov/OP_Home/handbook/handbook.04/handbook-0406.html

http://www.socialsecurity.gov/retire2/divspouse.htm

If you are interested in learning more about important retirement issues, check out the tabs or drop down menu at the top of this page.  They can link you to hundreds of additional articles containing important retirement information.

You are reading from the blog:  http://www.baby-boomer-retirement.com

Photo credit:  Photo of wedding venue taken by author, Deborah-Diane.  All rights reserved.

AFib - A Dancing Heart

Have you ever checked your own pulse or been lying quietly in bed at night, only to notice that your heart suddenly seems to be firing rapidly or irregularly every once in a while?  According to a brochure I recently received from Saddleback Memorial Hospital in Southern Califoria, this is called Atrial Fibrillation (AFib) and it increases your risk of having a stroke or developing heart disease.

I experienced this for a short time when my thyroid medication was set at too high a dose.  I have also heard of people experiencing it on certain diet medications.  However, sometimes it seems to happen for no reason at all.  If this is happening to you, be sure to report it to your doctor.

Symptoms of AFib

In addition to noticing that your heart seems to have palpitations or a stutter every once in a while, you may also have other symptoms:

Dizziness
Low energy
Chest discomfort
Shortness of breath

Of course, whether you are experiencing palpitations or not, you should talk to your doctor if you are experiencing any of the above symptoms.

Treatments for AFib

Fortunately, doctors do have an arsenal of different treatments they can try in order to get your heart operating smoothly again.  Here are the ones that were mentioned in the brochure I received:

Medications that can soothe your heart and help it maintain its normal rhythm.

Electrical cardioversion which is a shock to your heart.  This is done to "reset" it.

Catheter Ablation is a minimally invasive surgical procedure that is done to destroy tissue or cells that could be causing the irregular rhythm.

Cryoablation is similar to other types of ablation, but it "freezes" the unwanted tissue.

Pacemakers are frequently implanted under the skin near the collar bone to keep the heart from beating too slowly.

What You Can Do to Keep Your Heart Healthy

We all want to do everything we can to keep our heart working properly.  While medical intervention should be sought whenever we suspect that something is wrong with our heart, we also need to do our part to maintain it.

Get exercise
Maintain a healthy weight
Do not smoke
Eat a diet low in trans fats and saturated fats
Manage your blood pressure and cholesterol

The most important thing you should get from this article, however, is that you should tell your doctor if you notice anything unusual about your heartbeat.  It's a condition that can easily be treated and getting it taken care of could prevent you from having a heart attack or stroke.

If you are interested in learning more about health and other issues that could affect your during retirement, use the tabs or pull down menu at the top of this page.  They contain links to hundreds of additional articles.

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Photo credit:  www.morguefile.com

What To Expect After You Retire

Recently, the checker at my local grocery store told me that she was old enough to retire now and that she had moved into a condo in the same retirement community where I live.  However, she confided that she was very nervous about giving up her job.  She said she didn't know what to expect.

This seems to be a common concern for many people who retire.  Although most of the people I know are happy that they gave up their jobs, I have also known several who returned to their old occupations or found a new one, within a year or two of retiring.

As a result, I thought it was time to write a post to let people know what they can expect after retirement.  The fewer surprises you have, the happier you are likely to be.

You Still Have to Pay Attention to Money After Retirement

Just because you have stopped working and stopped contributing to a retirement plan, it does not mean that you can stop thinking about your finances.  You will need to continue to pay attention to how you spend money and how your retirement funds are invested.  You also need to make sure that you have realistic expectations of your potential return on your investments and how much you can withdraw each year in order to make sure your money lasts the rest of your life.

Statistics show that widows, in particular, often (but not always) go through their assets faster than they should.  Everyone should consult with a financial adviser periodically to make sure they are still spending their money in a realistic manner and they remain on track for their assets to last the rest of their lives.

On the other hand, spending down your retirement savings can be emotionally and psychologically painful for some people.  After spending years, or possibly decades, putting together a nice nest egg, it can be hard to see it shrink as the years go by.  If you are on a reasonable disbursement plan, such as using 4% of your assets each year, you may still have to give yourself permission to spend your money down!

No matter how critical you were of the Social Security program prior to retirement, it is likely to be a significant source of income for you after you retire.   Approximately 86% of retirees will receive Social Security.  Social Security makes up about 90% of retirement income for roughly one-third of retirees.  It makes up at least 50% of the income of 65% of retires.   The average benefit at the end of 2014 was $1,282.

Another financial concern you will have is making sure you know how you will cover your medical expenses.  Basic Medicare does not cover routine eye exams, eyeglasses, contact lenses, dental care or hearing aids.  In addition, it only covers 100 days in a nursing home.  Retirees really need to investigate the best Medicare supplemental plans, Medicare Advantage plans and long-term insurance plans to make sure the money they have set aside to cover medical expenses will go as far as possible.  In addition, they may need to keep some liquid assets on hand to cover deductibles and co-pays each year.

Loneliness Is An Issue for Many Retirees

Retirement is not always the way it is depicted on television and in movies.  Many retirees will not spend their Golden Years surrounded by children and grandchildren, enjoying leisurely Sunday dinners with their extended family, as depicted on shows like "Blue Bloods."

About 44% of people over the age of 65 are living alone because they are widowed, divorced, separated or never married.   As they get older, the percentage of people living alone goes up.  As a result, the average senior over the age of 75 watches more than four hours of television a day.  Many seniors watch significantly more television than that or spend additional hours playing computer games or engaged in other solitary activities.

To counteract the loneliness, it is important that you find group activities you enjoy and get involved with them as soon as possible after you retire.  This could mean signing up for classes, joining clubs, attending church, scheduling regular lunch or dinner dates with friends, volunteering or getting a "fun" job.   You need to reach out to your friends and neighbors on a regular basis, especially if you live alone.

You Might Start Dating Again

Much to their surprise, single retirees often discover that they want to date.  It can be fun and exciting to be involved in a romantic relationship again, and it can do a lot to minimize any loneliness you may be experiencing.  Our community television station has even begun to broadcast our own local version of "The Dating Game."  One of the former writers for the original "Dating Game" lives in our community and, when he offered to organize a show for our community, his idea was enthusiastically embraced.  Over 250 people showed up the first time they held auditions to appear on the show ... and it is only open to the people who live in this community!

It is possible you will meet people you want to date through some of the classes or clubs you enjoy.  It has also become more common for seniors to meet someone through an online dating site, like SeniorMatch.com (see the ad in the sidebar) which is specifically designed for people over the age of 50.  On these sites, you should be honest about your age and use photos that show the "real" you.  You are more likely to end up in an healthy relationship.   

One warning:  Immediately drop any online relationships the minute the other person begins to mention that they need money ... no matter how worthy the cause.  Tens of thousands of elderly people have lost thousands of dollars to scammers who form relationships and then ask for money.  Other than that, just use your common sense ... go slow, meet in public places and take someone else with you until you feel comfortable. In addition, if you are computer savvy enough to engage in online dating, you should be computer savvy enough to do an online background check of any person you consider dating.

Many seniors have found a new chance at love when they open themselves up to dating again and it can be a lot of fun!

You Probably Will Not Move Very Far

While many seniors think they would like to move to a new, exotic location, the truth is that only 5.7% of Americans over the age of 65 moved between 2009 and 2013.  Most of those who did relocate, usually moved only a short distance.  Only about 1% of retirees moved to a new state.  Approximately 0.3% moved overseas.

Most senior citizens want to maintain their current support system ... continuing to belong to the same church and clubs, seeing the same doctors, shopping in the same stores, etc.  It is comforting to feel that you will not need to rebuild these relationships somewhere else.

Downsizing, finding a one-story home, moving into a retirement community or senior apartments can be a smart decision for many retirees.  As a result, it can be a good idea to start your search for a retirement home near the community where you currently live.  

Accept That Someday You Will Need Help

One of the most difficult realities that most people have to accept is that someday they will probably need help of some kind.  They may reach a point when they can no longer drive, grocery shop, cook, maintain their home, shovel snow, climb stairs or perform similar everyday activities.  They may even live long enough that they will need help performing basic personal tasks like dressing or bathing.

While paying for people to help you can be a financial concern, living long enough to reach this stage in your life can also cause depression and other emotional difficulties.  Many people postpone moving into an assisted living facility long past the time when it would have made their life much more comfortable.  It will make life easier for both you and your family when you accept that this is a natural stage of aging and it is OK to get help when you need it.

Despite Everything, Retirement Can Be FUN

Does it sound like retirement could be lonely and depressing?  The point of this post is that it does NOT have to be.  If you know what to expect and prepare yourself financially, emotionally and psychologically, you can have a lot of fun after you retire.

The key here is YOU.

It is up to you to make sure you have prepared financially, you have made appropriate adjustments to your lifestyle, you have chosen the right Medicare plan to meet your needs, and you have investigated ways to pay for long-term care when you need it.

In addition, you want to be sure that you have built up a network of doctors, friends, family members, and financial consultants whom you trust.

Join clubs, sign up for classes, build friendships, schedule social events and participate in activities that you enjoy.  Enjoy your free time.  Read a book, take a walk, eat leisurely meals, play with your grandkids. 

Take occasional trips, even if it is no more than a short commuter train ride to visit a relative for a few days.  The change of scenery will do you good.

When I look around at the people I know in my current retirement community, many of whom are well into their 90's, the ones who knew what to expect in retirement and took steps to make sure they were prepared, are still having a wonderful time, years after they stopped working.  It is up to you to make sure this is true for your retirement years, too!

If you are interested in getting more information to help you prepare for retirement, use the tabs or pull down menu at the top of this article.  Those index articles will connect you to hundreds of other articles about retirement.

You are reading from the blog:  http://www.baby-boomer-retirement.com

Photo credit:  Photo taken by author, Deborah-Dian; all rights reserved.

Independent Living Technology for Aging in Place

Would you or your aging parents like to avoid going into a nursing home and remain independent as long as possible, despite concerns about health, falls, declining memory or similar problems?  In the past, many senior citizens have gone into assisted living or skilled nursing facilities because family members were concerned that they could fall, wander off or were not taking their medications and eating properly.  Today, modern technology is allowing many people to age in place and stay in their own homes much longer than ever before.

While not everyone is likely to need all the different types of technology that are available to keep them safe, just using a few of the items listed here could help you stay in your home for years longer than you thought possible.  Below are a selection of great innovations.

Independent Living Technology to Assist Senior Citizens 

 

PERS Providers (Mobile Personal Emergency Response Systems)

There are a number of excellent PERS providers.  Each one has its own benefits, so it would be wise to check out several to see which system will bring you and your family members the most peace of mind.  Anyone with a serious illness that could cause them to faint or become confused would benefit from owning a system and keeping the device with them all the time.  PERS are also a good idea for healthy retirees who spend a lot of time alone.

GreatCall 5 Star Urgent Response System -  This system can be used at home or when traveling ... either in your own neighborhood or around the United States.  Once you have purchased the inexpensive equipment, you then sign up for affordable monthly monitoring.  After it is set up, all the owner of the device has to do in order to summon help is push a button on a small device they wear as a pendant, bracelet or attached to a belt.  They can get in touch with a real person in the event they fall, become ill, or get confused or lost.  They will automatically be connected to trained emergency agents who can then determine what type of help they need and whether to call an ambulance, or connect the client to a nurse, neighbor or relative.   You provide them with a list of emergency numbers to call and they will contact these people when you need help.  It is very reassuring to know that, at the very least, a neighbor or friend could come over if something happens. It is a GPS system, so the agents can find you if you become lost, no matter where you are within the United States. 

You can use this Amazon link to learn more about the devices: GreatCall 5 Star devices from Amazon.

 

You can also contact:  www.greatcall.com


Connect America - This is another mobile emergency response system that travels with you, wherever you go.  You can compare prices of their devices and the monthly monitoring fee with the other devices listed here.

Contact:  www.connectamerica.com

Life Alert - This system is similar to the others and has the additional option that it can be set up on your smartphone, so it will speed-dial the monitoring agency for you from your phone, as well as on the pendant you wear.

Contact:  www.lifealert.com

Mobile Help - This company provides a combination mobile PERS system with a home base station.  Depending on the arrangements you make, the response team can both call and email your family to let them know where you are, including if you have been taken to a hospital.  In addition, it has a fall detection system that will summon help, even if you are not able to push the button or speak.  This system is particularly advantageous for someone who is in danger of passing out.

Contact:  www.mobilehelpnow.com

Philips Lifeline with Auto Alert - This is an affordable personal emergency response device that currently only works using a base station in your home.  Like most systems, the senior citizen wears a help button as a pendant or bracelet.  This device also has the ability to detect a fall and connect you to a response center.

Contact:  lifelinesys.com/content

MedMinder

Another reason why some people need to go into nursing homes is because they fail to take life-saving medication at the correct times.  The MedMinder aggressively alerts you so you know when it is time to take your medication.  You can purchase either a locking or non-locking medication tray.  The locking tray unlocks the compartment when it is time to take the medication.  The dispenser flashes and beeps until the medication is taken.  There are also voice alarms and automated phone calls.  A relative can log onto the website and see if the medication has been taken.  If you wish,  they will also receive an email, text or phone call if the medication has not been taken in a timely manner.  With this system, either you or a caregiver will need to fill the medication tray once a week.  This can minimize the frequency of visits from a caregiver, save you money, and make it possible to stay in your own home.

Contact:  medminder.com

Reminder Rosie

This is a simple voice activated alarm clock that reminds you to take your medicine.  It is a much simpler device than the MedMinder, but works fine for many people who do not need such an aggressive reminder.

Contact:  reminder-rosie.com

Grand Care Systems

Do you feel that you or your loved one needs a more comprehensive type of medical monitoring system?  Then the Grand Care system may be the right choice for your family.  With Grand Care, you place wireless sensors around the house and link them to the company via the internet.  The sensors can track daily activity so that you are assured that your loved one is moving around, opening the refrigerator, etc.  It can also monitor the person's glucose, blood oxygen levels, blood pressure, their weight, etc.    It comes with an interactive touch screen that allows seniors to video chat with their family or simply watch videos, use Facebook or play games.  This can be perfect in families that are able to visit a few times a week and they just want some reassurance that everything is OK between their visits.

Contact:  GrandCare.com

Which Independent Living Technology is Best for You?

Since I currently live in a retirement community, I have noticed that several people I know are subscribing to mobile personal emergency response systems.  Most of them are deciding to do this on their own, without being urged to do so by their adult children.  Sometimes they make the decision because they or someone they know has experienced a traumatic event, such as fall or heart attack, when they were home alone.  This is something you can do entirely on your own, without involving other family members.  In fact, you can choose to just give the emergency dispatch team the numbers of your doctors, ambulance service and neighbors, rather than family members, if you do not have a family member who is close enough to provide assistance.  Which people they will contact is entirely up to you.

If you worry about taking your medication on time, either you or a caregiver can set up the MedMinder or Reminder Rosie.  Even if you do not have memory problems, these devices can help assure you that you are taking your medication exactly as prescribed.

The GrandCare system works best if there is a relative or caregiver who will be available to monitor and interact with the person being monitored.  It is especially useful for families that are concerned about an elderly diabetic, for example, who may be having difficulty tracking their blood glucose levels and eating at the proper times.

Whichever technology you decide to use, it is reassuring to know that it could help you stay in your home rather than being pressured to move into a nursing home sooner than is absolutely necessary.  Today, we are so fortunate to have these types of technology available in our own homes to provide us with the type of assistance we need, when and where we need it.

Currently, Medicaid may help patients pay for some of these devices, if they determine that they are medically necessary.  Medicare does not cover any of these items, at this time.

Reference:  "Is This the End of The Nursing Home?" AARP Bulletin, March 2014, pg. 20.

If you are looking for additional helpful information for retirees, use the tabs or the pull-down menu at the top of the page to find links to hundreds of additional articles.

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The Perfect Distance From Children and Grandchildren

How Far Away Should You Retire From Your Children?

In my last post, I listed a series of questions that retirees should ask themselves before choosing their retirement home.  They all boiled down to determining the perfect distance you should live from your children and grandchildren.

This is an issue that most retirees have to consider when they begin to make their retirement plans.  As I asked in the earlier article, are you willing to live an airplane flight away, a long drive away, or in the same neighborhood as your adult children and grandchildren?  The truth is that there is no single answer that is right for everyone.  There are many different factors to consider and, no matter what you decide, there will be advantages and disadvantages.   In addition, if you have multiple children, you may live near some of them and a long distance away from others.  No matter how near or far away you live, there are challenges you will need to consider.

In my earlier post, I gave readers a list of questions to consider that would help them decide how far away they wanted to live from their children.  This week's post should help you draw the conclusions that are right for you.  In the last sections of this post you will find comments that have been left by real grandparents and teens who have their own opinions of the right distance to be away from their family.

Retiring an Airplane Flight Away From Your Children

Have you always dreamed of living in a milder climate or, possibly, an exotic country?  Those early years after you retire may be the single best opportunity you will have in your lifetime to live somewhere new and fun.  Now is your chance to live wherever you want, without regard for your job or other obligations.  This decision, however, could take you far away from your children.  Are you willing to leave your adult children and young grandchildren behind in order to have your own adventure?

There is no reason to feel guilty about choosing to spend your 60's, 70's or even your later years living someplace where you have always wanted to spend time, whether that is Florida, Arizona or Costa Rica.  Some people have found that making a move like this has even strengthened their family relationships.  Their children are left to make their own decisions, without feeling that their parents are always there to look over their shoulders.  When the parents and children get together once or twice a year, either at the children's or parent's home, the visits are likely to be more fun ... something everyone looks forward to.  In between visits, the grandchildren can use Skype or FaceTime to show their grandparents their Halloween costumes, holiday gifts or soccer trophies.  Facebook makes it easy to stay in touch and see what your family is doing, too.

One downside is that you may find it more difficult to stay in touch with former friends and neighbors, since that connection may not be as strong as the bond you have with your children. However, this will be offset when you reach out to people in your new community and make friends there, as well.

Another risk you take is that it may be harder to reach family members quickly whenever there is an emergency.  If you or your spouse has to go into the hospital, it could be very difficult for your children to make arrangements to get there.  If a grandchild has a medical emergency, it will be equally difficult for you to be there to help out.  In some cases, resentments may develop between the generations because of the distance.

Retiring a Long Drive Away From Your Children

One way to handle the disadvantages of living an airplane flight away from your children is to live a long drive away from them.

In this case, you will have all the advantages of being able to live where you want, visit with them a couple of times a year, and use Skype and Facebook to stay in touch.  At the same time, it will be easier for you and your old friends to meet occasionally or join each other for special events.

In addition, in an emergency you can reach other family members within a day ... which can be very comforting.

One of our daughters lives an eight hour drive away from us.  When she had an emergency and was rushed to the hospital last summer, it was a relief to be able to hop in our car and arrive at the hospital that evening.

Retiring in the Same Community As Your Children

Your final option is to live in the same general area as your adult children.  This can mean living within walking distance or living twenty or thirty miles away from them.  In either case, it can make it easy for you to get together regularly and spend lots of time with your grandchildren.

It can also mean that you become their first choice whenever they need a baby sitter or pet sitter.  Depending on how close you live, they may ask you to watch the kids after school, drive them to school, or take them to baseball practice and other after school activities.  Are you willing to be that involved in the lives of your grandchildren?

On the other hand, you might end up seeing less of them than you expect.  They may not want you to be at their house for every holiday and they may not want to spend all their free time going to your place for Sunday dinner, either.  Are you going to feel resentful and left out if they choose to spend some of their holidays and free time with the in-laws or friends ... leaving you to fend for yourselves?

You also have to ask yourself if you are going to be more tempted to interfere in their lives if you live nearby.  Are you going to pepper them with questions about every decision they make or constantly make suggestions about how they should do things?

Living near your children and grandchildren can create its own unique set of problems.  It can require more patience and discretion on your part, if you wish to get along with your adult children.  You may have to learn to hold your tongue and let your children know that you respect their decisions.  Are you prepared to take a back seat and not intervene, even when you disagree with decisions they are making?  What if you think they are making poor financial decisions, drinking too much, or not raising their children correctly?  Keeping your mouth shut can be a lot easier when your children live a few hundred or a few thousand miles away.

Deciding Where To Retire

As you can see, there is no single choice that is right for everyone.  In fact, you may end up moving closer to one adult child and further away from others.  This is very common in families today, since so many young adults have to relocate for their careers.

You also have to consider the possibility that you might move someplace to be near a particular child, only to have that child move away.  This happened to a friend of mine when the husband of her only daughter was transferred by his company to a state that is 1,500 miles away.  My friend is very resentful that her children and grandchildren are no longer living nearby, yet she does not want to move to the cold weather state where they now live.

What Real People Have Said About The Distance They Live From Family

I sometimes write for a site that has both young and older readers.  As a result, I asked readers on that site the question of how far away retirees should live from their adult children.  I received a wide range of opinions.  Here are some of the more interesting answers that they gave:

From a grandmother who lives near her kids:  "I am a grandma and all my children and grandchildren live less than a 5 minute drive away. My daughter and I walk frequently to each other's houses and I could walk to my son's house. Soon, I will take care of my youngest grandson a couple of days a week and am glad that we are all very close together. It makes it easy to help out and I can have the kids over for a short time. When my son and family lived a 30 min drive away, visits were more committed. Still, we are close, but we respect each other's space. I don't stop by without being invited or at least have communicated if they are up for a visitor and they do the same. We all like each other a lot and like to spend time together."

From another grandmother who likes a little distance: "When it comes to our kids, I think distance actually does make the heart grow fonder."

From a grandmother who resents her daughter's move:  "This question touches a nerve. My daughter wants me involved in the lives of her kids, but moved to a far away state. It costs me thousands to see any of them. Yes, they could Skype or text, but they don't. The problem is, with several options, their generation is overwhelmed. So they use none of it."

From a teenager:  "I am a teenager. As someone who has lived away from both sets of grandparents and has had very limited communication with them, I would definitely say that grandparents and their children and grandchildren should live relatively close. Every time I visit my grandparents, I can only stay for a few weeks at most. The rest of the time, I can only call them over the phone. I really really wish that I lived closer to my grandparents so I could be with them more!"


As you can see, opinions vary widely.  Some of the comments I received also indicated that not all grandparents want to be regular babysitters.  (I received that comment from men, although I am sure some women feel the same way.) Other grandparents seem to welcome the opportunity.  In the end, the best advice is to choose a retirement home in a location that seems best suited for you.  Once you have done that, everything else is likely to fall into place, making everyone happier.

You may also be interested in reading my last post on this topic at:  http://www.baby-boomer-retirement.com/2015/04/how-far-should-you-live-from-your-adult.html

If you are looking for ideas about wonderful retirement locations, use the tabs or the pull down menu at the top of this page to find links to hundreds of other articles about retirement.

You are reading from the blog:  http://www.baby-boomer-retirement.com

Photo credit: Photo of Laguna Beach taken by author, Deborah-Diane; all rights reserved.

How Far Should You Live From Your Adult Children?

If you are planning to retire soon, one important question you may have to ask yourself is how far you are willing to live from your adult children.  Do you want to live within a short drive, a long drive, or an air flight away?  There are advantages and disadvantages to each.

It is important that you spend some time thinking about the different concerns you have before choosing a new retirement location.  You don't want to make an expensive mistake, if you can avoid it.

When my husband and I were visiting potential colleges with one of our teenage daughters, the admission's officer said to the parents who were gathered, "Please do not move and forget to tell your children your new address!"  That got a laugh from the crowd.  However, it is apparently not unusual for some parents to send their kids off to college and then move into a retirement community or downsize to a smaller home ... neglecting to give their new address to their children for a few months!

Many people wrestle with the decision of where they want to live after they retire.  Below are some thoughts for you to consider.

Retirement Near Your Adult Children

Whether your kids already live in your hometown or they live across the country, is it your goal to retire someplace near them?  Do you envision seeing them on a regular basis and being involved in your grandchildren's daily lives?  Sometimes this is wonderful ... and sometimes things do not work out the way you envision.  Questions you need to ask are:

Do your children want to see you on a regular basis?
Do your children agree that you should spend a lot of time with your grandchildren?
Will your children start using you as a regular babysitter and/or pet sitter?
Is it possible that, after you move close to them, your children may end up getting a new job and moving somewhere far away?
How will you feel if you move near them and they get transferred somewhere else?
Will your feelings be hurt if they spend the holidays with their in-laws instead of you?
Will your adult children become too dependent on you?
Will you be expected to host all the major family dinners and special events?

Retirement a Long Drive From Your Children

Do you think you will be more comfortable if you are within driving distance of your children, but not close enough that they will regularly depend on you for babysitting and hosting all the holiday meals?   Is that your ideal living arrangement?  If so, here are the questions that you should ask yourself:

How far are you willing to drive to attend a grandchild's birthday or special event?
How often are you willing to make the drive?
Where will you stay during your visits ... in a hotel or with your children?
Will you have a guest area for your children when they visit you?
Will your other friends and relatives be willing to visit you there?
What happens if your adult child is transferred to another region of the country?

Retirement That is an Airplane Flight Away From Your Children

What if you must take an airplane in order to visit your children?  Many of the questions that pertain to a long drive will also pertain to taking a flight.  However, there are a few other issues you may need to consider:

How much will it cost to fly to see your children?
Will you have to take different flights to see different children?
How often will you be able to afford to fly to see them?
Are you willing and able to help pay for your children to visit you?
Where will you stay when you visit your children ... in a hotel or with your children?
Will you have a guest area for your children when they visit you?
Will your other friends and relatives be willing to visit you there?

Our Personal Experience with Retirement Distances

My husband and I have adult daughters who live in all the categories mentioned above.  One lives just 7 miles from us and we see her and her children several times a week.  Yes, we often babysit the kids, pick them up from school, pet sit when they go out of town, and help out financially.  We also host all the holiday dinners.  Those are the advantages or disadvantages (depending on how you look at it) of living near your adult children.

Another one of our daughters lives an 8 hour drive away.  We see her every few months.  Sometimes we drive to see her and sometimes she drives down to see us.  We are much less involved with her children, but we see them more often than we do the grandchildren who live an air flight away.

Two of our daughters and their families live on the other side of the country from us.  We go and see them once a year and they come to see us once a year.  Fortunately, we are able to combine the trips when we visit them, since they only live a couple of hours' drive away from each other.  However, we see much less of those grandchildren and that will probably remain true most of their lives. Using Skype and Facebook helps to make the distance between us seem shorter.

Which decision is right for you?  Only you can decide that.  However, it is important to consider all the possibilities before you make a final decision.

However, before making the decision, you may also want to read my next post on this topic.  It contains comments of both grandparents and young people and the way they feel about having grandparents who live either nearby or far away:

http://www.baby-boomer-retirement.com/2015/04/the-perfect-distance-from-children-and.html

For more information about what you should consider when choosing a retirement community, use the tabs at the top of this page.  They contain links to hundreds of additional articles about where to retire.

You are reading from the blog:  http://www.baby-boomer-retirement.com

Photo credit: www.morguefile.com