Sunday, April 29, 2012

Sexism After Retirement

Many women who are retired, or soon to retire, are independent women who have spent years in the work force.  They have lead busy lives, and have earned their retirement.  Often they felt that they had been held back during their working years because of blatant sexism in the workforce.  In fact, in 2008, the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development found that women continue to earn approximately 17% less than men in similar occupations.  Because their career is often interrupted during child rearing years, women tend to earn about 30% less than men over their lifetime.

The Retirement Effects of Lower Income for Women

The repercussions of earning less during their lifetime has a dramatic effect on the amount of retirement income they receive.  Because women earned less while they were working, they also receive lower Social Security benefits.  According to the Social Security Administration, in 2008 17% of single women over the age of 65 had an income that was below the poverty threshold of $10,326.  About 28% earned less than $12,907.

Other Types of Sexism After Retirement

A lower standard of living is not the only way that women are experiencing sexism after retirement.  After years of dealing with sexism in the workplace, many women are shocked to realize that they are still subject to social sexism after retirement.  A friend of mine, who lives here in our retirement community of Laguna Woods Village, told me about a recent incident of sexism she noticed in a club she and her husband had joined. When the club secretary resigned, the men in the club suggested that the women take turns being club secretary.  My friend said she was willing to take a turn, and do her fair share, but only if the men did, too.  She saw no reason why only the women should take over the many responsibilities of a club secretary.

Retirement was the one stage of our lives when most women did not expect to experience blatant sexism.  After all, since women tend to live longer than men, there are usually more women than men living in retirement communities.  Gradually, let's all hope the tide turns and retiring Baby Boomers will continue to promote more equitable financial and social status during the retirement years.

In researching this blog post, I was delighted to see this quote:  "You don't have to be anti-man to be pro-woman" -- Jane Galvin Lewis.  That is so true!  We all need to work together to promote a better society for everyone.

If you are interested in learning more about issues affecting your retirement, use the tabs or pull down menu at the top of this article to find links to hundreds of additional articles on where to retire, financial planning, medical issues and changing family relationships.

You are reading from the blog: http://www.baby-boomer-retirement.com

Photo courtesy of www.morguefile.com.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

National Take Back Medicine Day

Many Americans have unused and unneeded medications in their medicine cabinets.  These medications can be dangerous to visiting family members who take them.  For example, young children visiting grandmother may think the pills are "candy," and pop a few into their mouths; or teenage relatives may decide to steal a bottle of painkillers left over from a recent surgery and either take the pills themselves or sell them to their friends.

How NOT to Dispose of Unused Medicine

It is important that unused medications be disposed of carefully.  Some people think they are doing the right thing when they pour their unneeded medications down the drain or flush them down the toilet.  However, this method of disposal can damage our water supply.  Imagine millions of people dumping a few pills down the toilet every month.  Most methods of water filtration and purification are not designed to remove these chemicals from the water.  The impact on the environment would be enormous.  In fact, it is not usual for independent labs to find measurable amounts of birth control hormones and other medications in the water we drink.  This cannot be healthy for anyone, but particularly not for our children.

National Prescription Take-Back Day

For the past few years, the Federal Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) has scheduled an annual National Prescription Drug Take-Back Day to assist people in safely disposing of their unwanted and unused prescription drugs.  During the event in 2011, Americans turned in more than 377,086 pounds (or 188.5 tons) of unneeded medications.

The events are held at different times of year from 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.  There are 5,327 take-back sites located in all 50 states and the US territories.  To find a site near you, go to:

National Take Back Initiative Collection Site Search

The website will tell you the next available date.  You just need to enter your zip code or your county, city and state to find a take-back center near you.

When I entered my zip code, I discovered that I could turn my unused drugs into the police department offices and sheriff's department offices in my community.  A call to the non-emergency number for your local police department or sheriff's department would probably help you confirm the drug take-back location closest to you.

Other Ways to Dispose of Medications

If you have unwanted medications and you are unable to get them to a take-back center,  here are other things you could do.

* Break the pills up, mix them with dirt or garbage, leave them in the bottle and put them in the trash so that they go to a landfill.

* Call your local police department or city hall and ask if they have a place where you can properly dispose of medications.

*  Call your pharmacy or local hospital to see if you could drop off your unused drugs at one of their facilities.

Do not simply show up with your drugs someplace and assume that they will take them off your hands.  Not all communities have the proper facilities to dispose of medications.  If your community does not, you may want to contact your local city office and see if you can work with them to set up a place where people can properly dispose of their drugs.

Don't put your family and loved ones at risk by allowing dangerous medications to fall into the wrong hands.  Don't flush your pills down the toilet or wash them down the drain, where they could pollute our water supply.  Take back any medications you don't need, and allow the government to dispose of them properly.

If you are interested in additional information of use to Baby Boomers, use the tabs or pull down menu at the top of the page to find links to hundreds of additional articles on where to retire, medical issues, financial planning, family relationships and more.

You are reading from the blog:  http://www.baby-boomer-retirement.com

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Sunday, April 22, 2012

Gambling Addiction During Retirement

Recently, several members of our family traveled to Las Vegas to celebrate the 30th birthday of our youngest daughter.  It was also a bit of a family reunion, with three generations of our family present. While walking along the edge of a casino to get to the hotel pool at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, my nine year old grandson asked why so many "old" people liked to gamble!

I think that many of us tend to become less observant as we grow older.  I have become accustomed to seeing casinos filled with silver haired patrons, and didn't even notice how many were present until my grandson said something.  While most of the families that were visiting Las Vegas this weekend were enjoying a beautiful day at the pool or touring some of the fascinating attractions in Las Vegas, the casino was quite busy in the middle of the day with older patrons.  In fact, most of the chairs in front of the slot machines were filled with senior citizens.

Gambling Addiction is a Serious Problem for Senior Citizens

Upon returning home, I decided to research whether gambling addiction is a serious problem for retirees and I was shocked by what I discovered.  According to a Summer, 2009 AARP article, senior women are now the most likely group to develop a gambling addiction.

The same article reported that older people are more likely to develop gambling problems because they no longer work and have more available time.  Many casinos market directly to retirees.  They send buses to senior centers and retirement communities, pick up the residents of these communities, offer them a free lunch or other benefits, and take them to a casino where they spend the entire day.  These retirees then fill the day by sitting at a slot machine and pouring money into it until it is time to go home.  Despite the free lunch and transportation, these trips are very expensive for most seniors.  However, they often go to the casinos because they are bored at home and they want to get out and do something "fun."

According to the National Council on Problem Gambling, in an article on NCPgambling.org,, seniors are one of the fastest growing groups of gamblers.  Those who report that they have recently gambled have increased from 20% to about 50% during the past few decades.  As they gamble more and more frequently, seniors become more likely to develop a gambling addiction.

How to Get Help for a Gambling Addiction

If you, or someone you know, seems to have a gambling addiction, there is no reason to let it destroy your retirement.  Help is available.

You can find out more from Gamblers Anonymous at 1-888-GA-HELPS or http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/

or contact the National Council on Problem Gambling at (800) 522-4700 or http://ncpgambling.org/.

Let's keep our entertainment fun and family friendly, without letting it destroy our lives and our financial safety net.

If you are interested in additional retirement information, including financial planning, medical issues, where to retire or family relationships, use the tabs or pull down menu at the top of the page for links to hundreds of additional articles.

You are reading from the blog: http://baby-boomer-retirement.blogspot.com

Photo courtesy of public-domain-photos.com

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Healing Relationships with Your Adult Children

Many Baby Boomers grew up in constant conflict with our parents.  We talked about the Generation Gap and changing lifestyles.  We demonstrated against the war in Vietnam and the values of the 1950's.  We insisted that "the times they were a changin'." However, as the years went by, most of us were able to heal our family misunderstandings and eventually maintain some kind of a relationship with our parents.

Some Baby Boomers are Now Estranged from their Children

Sadly, now it is our generation's turn to be on the receiving end of resentment felt by our children.  Surveys indicate that a significant number of Baby Boomers have grown up to become parents who are estranged from their own grown children.  In an article entitled "The Stranger in Your Family," in the April/May 2012 issue of AARP Magazine, the author discussed the increasing number of Baby Boomers who feel estranged from their grown children. 

Causes of Family Estrangements

Several experts in the AARP article mention that they have seen increasing numbers of parents whose adult children have cut communications with them.  In these families, children rarely, if ever, contact their parents and they sometimes do not accept the parents' attempts to contact them.  There can be several reasons for this. It could have started with conflict during the teenage years or a sense that the parents disapprove of their adult children.

However it began, one reason the article gave for the estrangements is that society and therapists now encourage people to only stay in relationships that feel good to them.  Therefore, if being around their parents causes these young adults to feel uncomfortable, unhappy, or guilty, they simply choose to stay away.  If they believe their parents are controlling or critical, the young person feels justified in avoiding these negative relationships, often with the support of their therapist.

Reading this AARP article made me feel sad, despite the fact that I have been able to maintain strong relationships with my own adult daughters and step-daughters.  I know how painful these estrangements can be, because I have several friends who are going through this.

How to Heal a Broken Relationship with Your Adult Children

In reading the article's suggestions for healing estrangements, I realized that I have already incorporated some of them into the way I have dealt with our own daughters.  Because this is such a difficult topic for many parents, I thought I would reiterate some of the things that experts believe can help:

Do not criticize your adult kids.  They are more sensitive than you realize.  If you don't like something you are hearing, simply say things like, "Hmmm," "You could be right," "That's interesting," "It will be interesting to see how that turns out," and "I hope everything works out for you."

Do not compare your children.  Appreciate their uniqueness.  Your children could have careers ranging from actor to scientist.  Never point out how much better off one is than the other.  Every career has its advantages and disadvantages.  Give them the dignity to figure out their own paths.

If you have a suggestion, make it once.  If they seem to misunderstand it, clarify it once.  Then drop it and never bring it up again, unless they ask you to repeat it or explain it.  Don't give unsolicited advice, especially about how to raise their kids.

If you accidentally offend them in any way, apologize.  Don't just tell them that you are sorry.  Tell them that their decisions only affect them, not you, so you shouldn't have said anything.  (OK, you may have to swallow your pride on that one.  That's why saying "Hmmm" a lot will keep you out of trouble!)

Accept your children.  Accept that they can have different ideas, different religions, different political beliefs, different sexual orientations, and different attitudes about money and life ... and that is OK.  You don't have to live like they do.  Enjoy watching their lives from the sidelines, much as you would a scandalous soap opera!

Celebrate their successes.  Don't mention their failures.

The Benefits of Accepting Your Adult Children and Their Choices

It isn't always easy to live by this creed and sometimes you have to bite your tongue a lot, but it is worthwhile.  Like most parents, I have watched our adult children go through stages that left me shaking my head.  However, today I love being invited to spend time with them as they help their own kids choose their colleges, and pick out prom dresses.  I love being included in trips with our adult children.  I think they have finally reached the point where they feel comfortable that I will not criticize them if things go wrong or if they make mistakes.  I can shrug things off and admit that things don't always work out for me, either.  They feel like equals in our relationship, and that's all adult children really want.

What to Do If You Are Estranged From Your Children

If you have been estranged from your children, be patient.  You will have to work hard to let them know that you no longer feel critical of them and that you accept them just as they are.  They may test you by flaunting behaviors that annoy you, just to see if you can avoid commenting.  You will have to be very careful, especially at first.

Meanwhile, send them birthday and Christmas cards, but don't lay a guilt trip on them if they seem to ignore the cards and not reciprocate.  Invite them to family occasions, but don't get upset if they don't always show up.  Send an apology, if necessary, for your past actions or hurtful words.  Take it slowly, and things will usually improve, although it could take years.

If you are interested in more information for Baby Boomers about improving family relationships, where to retire, financial planning, potential medical issues and more, use the tabs or pull down menu at the top of the page to find links to hundreds of additional articles.

You are reading from the blog: http://www.baby-boomer-retirement.com

Photo courtesy of photoxpress.com